this is perhaps the funniest story I have ever heard ( stolen from Jedi BBS )-Daniel
The set-up:
Last November a 64 GL and a 55 Fenderlight popped up on eBay, both with Buy It Now prices of about a thousand bucks (!) AND free shipping. I immediately recognized both scoots from the Scooterworks website where they were for sale at a substantially higher price (I think they’re still there). The auctions were restricted, meaning you had to e-mail the seller first to be put on a pre-approved list before you could bid or BIN. The location of the scoots was listed as “Christmas Gift USA”. I thought that maybe in the midst of a spastic promotional santafrenzy, the boss at Scooterworks had lost his/her last marble and was basically GIVING these babies away, or this was a scam. I thought WTF, I might as well at least check into the GL...
Note: Both auctions were cancelled by eBay within two hours of being posted and an “Invalid Item” page replaced the auctions. eBay’s response to my e-mail as to why said essentially that some poor schmoe (redtag501) had fallen victim to an e-mail scam and had handed over their eBay password to some naughty people. My first e-mail to “Jennifer” (notice how “she” fucks up and signs one “Sarah”) was sent before the auctions were cancelled. The following is a VERBATIM transcript of our little exchange over the next few days. I only loaded the e-mails into MS Word to clean ‘em up, put it in the right order and to change my eBay name and e-mail addy. I did not change a single word within the e-mails themselves. And for all of my trouble I am a dollar richer...
> Question from: matty0
> Title of item: 1964 Vespa GL
> Seller: redtag501
> Starts: Nov-17-03 14:13:49 PST
> Ends: Nov-24-03 14:13:49 PST
> Price: Starts at $100.00
> To view the item, go to:
> http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2443760620
>
> mattyo wrote:
> Hi there, I have seen these exact pictures of this exact bike
> on the scooterworks.com website, are you affiliated with them?
> I would also like to know about your shipping method.
> Thank you, Matt O
> --------------------
>
>>
> ----Original Message Follows----
> Dear Matt,
> My name is Jennifer and I am glad that you are interested in my scooter
> and I hope that we can close this deal. The scooter is in a perfect condition,
> always stored inside the garage, and kept out of the sun and rain. The price
> that I will sell it now is $1000. I will support the shipment via FedEx or
> DHL and you will receive the scooter in 3-4 days tops. I prefer that the
> payment will be done throw a bank deposit or money order. If we will use
> money order we will be able to close this deal in 4 days maximum and I will
> ship you the scooter the same day that the payment has been done. After you
> receive the package you will have 2 weeks to inspect the scooter and if are
> unsatisfied you can send it back and I will give you a full refound.I will
> wait your mail asap.
> Thanks,
> Jennifer
>
>
> Matt O wrote:
> Hi Jennifer,
>
> Thanks for your reply!
>
> Right now I am ONLY interested in Vespas that came with the "Johnson rod
> connection chain drive" option. This was a factory option only offered in
> 1964 as part of Vespa's 175th anniversary "Viva El Duce" performance
> package.
> Does your 64 GL have this option? Some don't because it was expensive back
> then and with America in the middle of The Great Depression in '64 alot of people
> couldn't afford it. But like I said I am ONLY interested in a Vespa with
> this option. If is does not have it I wouldn't be caught dead riding one of
> those things. People say that on the ones that don't have the "Johnson rod
> connection chain drive" the GL stands for "Giant Loser" and then they kick you
> in the 'nads. But If it does have this option, please tell me so and it will make
> me giddy and ready to spend all of my money.
> And don't forget to send your bank info for money wire transfers.
>
> Thank you, Matt
>
>
>
> ----Original Message Follows----
> Dear Matt,
> Thank you for your e-mail. The scooter is in Amsterdam with me. As I told
> you in my first e-mail I will support the shipment and insurance taxes. I
> will pay for all the shipping, you will only have to pay the taxes for the > payment. I would prefer a wire transfer through Western Union for payment.
> I will wait your mail with the payment confirmation from Western Union and
> after I check at www.westernunion.com and everything is OK I will contact
> the shipping company to come and pick up the rail. Please send me your full
> name and address so that I can prepare the package for you. I will send you
> the package as a gift so that you won't have to pay for the VAT taxes and
> everything else and I apriciate if you could do the same for me and when you
> deposit the founds at Western Union tell them that you are sending the money
> to a cosin or something like that because if you tell them that you are
> buying something over the internet I will have to pay a 5% tax. Here is my
> address that you will
> need at Western Union: Jennifer Peters, Kalkmarkt 1, 1011BC Amsterdam,
> Netherlands.
> Please let me know if you are interested or not because there are other
> persons interested and I want to know what I have to do. I wait your e-mail
> asap.
> Thanks,
> Jennifer
>
>
>
> Matt O wrote:
> Hi Jennifer,
>
> Like I said in my last email I will only buy if it has the Johnson rod
> connection chain drive option. If it does have it I will pay more than all
> of the other people interested. I have searched for this bike for many years
> and have saved alot of money for it, but only for a 1964 GL with the the
> Johnson rod connection chain drive option, so does it have it??? One more
> thing, does it have 16" wheels? otherwise known as "Pizza Wheels"? This
> doesn't matter as much to me as the the Johnson rod connection chain drive
> option because I can modify it or "grease wheel it with the big pepperoni" > as the mods say. But like I said, does it have the the Johnson rod connection > chain drive option, YES OR NO?
>
> Thanks, Matt
> ----Original Message Follows----
> Dear Matt,
> Thank you for your e-mail. The scooter has the Johnson rod connection chain
> drive option and I am happy to let you know that it alsou has 16" wheels. As
> soon as I have the payment confirmation from you I will contact the shipping
> company to come and pick up the package and send it to you. Please send me
> your address so that I can prepare the package. I will wait your e-mail as > soon as possible.
> Thanks,
> Sarah
>
>
> Matt O wrote:
> Hi Jennifer,
>
> At last I have found my dream bike. I have to send a money order to you
> because the nearest Western union office to me is in Carson City which is
> very far and my truck is not working. So tell me where to send it and it
> will be in the mail today!
>
> One more question: is the johnson rod the 6 inch or the 12 inch? Many people
> say that the 6 is adequate but for my money the 12 gives a better ride.
>
> Thanks, Matt
>
> ----Original Message Follows----
> Dear Matt,
> Thank you for your e-mail. I am glad that we can close this deal. The
> Johnson is 12 inch and I agree with you this is better them the 6 inch. You
> can pay me now at www.westernunion.com with your credit card and as soon
> as I have the payment confirmation I will call the shipping company to come
> and pick up the package. Please don't forget the favor that I asked you and I
> will wait your e-mail as soon as possible.
> Best regards
>
>
>
> Matt O wrote:
> Hi Jennifer,
>
> It sounds like you have some riding experience on the 12 inch johnson rod.
> I have heard that this is the best size but I have never ridden one. What's it
> like? some say it can be a bit of a rough ride and I've actually heard of
> people getting hurt by it, but they always hop right back on!
>
> Now as far as the payment, I don't have a credit card anymore. I had them
> all canceled because of all the identity theft that's going on these days.
> Someone from Jamaica just cleaned out my brother's bank account. He's kind
> of dumb and got tricked into a marijuana pyramid scheme. So I have to either
> send you a money order or cash in one of those security envelopes. You
> decide, but I'd rather send the money order because cash can be stolen!
> Thanks, Matt
>
> ----Original Message Follows----
> Dear Matt,
> Thank you for your e-mail. Rough ride?? I don't think so but maybe I just
> got used to it and that's way I don't consider it rough and I have never got
> hurt. I would prefer to use Western Union services because they are the
> fastest and I will send you the package the same day that you deposit the
> money. Could you please tell me what is a marijuana pyramid scheme ?
> I hope that we will close this deal together.
> Best regards,
> Jennifer
>
>
>
>
> Matt O wrote:
> Hi Jennifer,
>
> Well, I guess some people can take the 12" johnson, some can't. Some people
> are frightened by the mere sight of one and then some can't wait to jump on
> and bury the throttle. It's all a preference thing. Sounds like you will
> never bother with a piddly 6" again, you old pro, you. I have seen 14" and
> 16" johnsons in some movies that my dad has and you would have to be a
> psycho to get on one of those things...
> A marajuana pyramid scheme works just like any other pyramid scheme like
> Avon where you recruit 5 people to sell stuff for you but they have to buy
> it from you first and then they each recruit 5 people to sell the same
> stuff and they have to pay for it first and so on. It looks like a giant
> pyramid on paper becase you have one guy at the top, five guys under him, 25
> guys under them, 125 guys under them and so on. The thing is that each time
> the stuff goes down another level it goes up in price and the recruits never
> realize that they are actually the customers and not the sales people, with each
> level paying more and more. My brother paid $3000 for what amounted to an
> ounce of oregano and then he tried to recruit me to sell it for 3500!! Nooooo way,
> bro, I'm not that dumb. So if a Jamaican guy named Lee scratch Perry asks you > into one these schemes, do yourself a favor and say no thanks.
> Like I said, the nearest western union is too far away, I have to mail it to you.
>
> Thanks, Carl
>
> ----Original Message Follows----
> Dear Matt,
> Thank you for your e-mail. I am sory but the only way that I can close this
> deal is by Western union and FedEx or DHL services, please let me know if > we will close this deal because I have to know, I have other buyers that are
> ready to buy but I told them that I have a deal with someone and that
> someone is you. Please let me know if we will close this deal because I have
> to know what to tell the other buyers. I will wait your e-mail as soon as
> possible.
> Best regards,
> Jennifer
> Matt O wrote:
> Hey Jennifer,
> Well I thought about it and I still want, no, must have this machine. I'll
> get to western union in Carson City tomorrow. My mom and sister are going
> there tomorrow for a weekly Brazilian wax, whatever that is. I'll tag along
> with them. We live in a very remote part of Nevada and have to take a train
> and two busses to get to the city this takes about five hours but for my
> dream bike I would do anything.
>
> I was also thinking do you still have the '55 Fenderlight 125 for sale?
> Because I think I want to buy that one, too. I can't really afford it but I
> know where to get the money. My Grandmother gave me $1000 to pick up her
> incontinence medicine from the doctor in Carson tomorrow. I was thinking
> that I could keep the money and put aspirin in the old bottle, She would
> never know. That stuff doesn't work anyway, believe you me. When I think
> of all the clean up I've had to do, I deserve that money, damn it.
> Yeah, if that baby is still for sale I'll take it!!!
>
> Just one question about the '55 fenderlight, Is the engine a slant six or
> is it the fabled Hemi Tripower? I really hope that it's the Hemi.
>
> Thanks, Matt
> ----Original Message Follows----
> Dear Matt,
> Thank you for your e-mail. I still have the '55 Fenderlight for sale and If
> you are interested in buying both I will make you you a a $150 discount so
> the total amount that you will have to send me is $2050. I am glad that we
> can close this deal and I am shore that my "baby" will be in good hands. I
> will wait your e-mail tomorrow with the payment confirmation and after I
> check it at www.westernunion.com and everything is OK I will contact the
> shipping company to come and pick up the packages and send it to you.
> Please don't forget what I asked you, as I told you I will ship the packages
> as a gift to a friend and I would really appreciate if you could do the same
> thing for me. I will wait your e-mail with the payment confirmation
> tomorrow. > Best regards,
> Jennifer
>
----- Original Message -----
> Hi Jennifer,
> Whew, what a day! I had to get up at 5:00 this morning to catch the train
> into Carson City. After two trains and four busses I finally made it back
> home sweet home. I hope you don't think I'm a bad person for what I did by
> taking my grandma's medicine money to buy the other scooter. I did buy a new
> coal shovel up in Carson to deal with the extra mess. Sometimes I think I
> should just put her in a big plastic bag and cinch it around her neck so
> just her head is sticking out, then she can go as much as she wants for at
> least a couple days before anybody had to do anything about it. Oh yeah, I
> found out what a Brazilian wax is. It looks pretty good on my sister but my
> mom still looks like she has a bear cub in a scissor lock. Now I know what
> dad means when he says it's like "Bigfoot's Catchers Mitt".
>
> OK, I'm sure you don't care about my trip to Carson, so on to business...
>
> I opened a new western union account in Carson and deposited $2050.00. The
> slight problem is that they have restrictions on new accounts in Carson that
> go back to the prospector days. Because it's a new account and because I
> want to send a large amount of money overseas I have to get the account
> verified first and then they send the money right away. I asked do they do
> this at every western union? and he said no, just in Carson City. Then the
> guy told me this is because a lot of prospectors were striking it rich in
> Carson and some of them would try to buy a wife from a catalog of foreign
> ladies and they would send the money overseas by western union and she
> would never show up so they made this rule. Dumb prospectors. He said that
> most of these catalogs came from Belgium. So I said Belgium? I'm not trying to
> order a wife from someone in Africa, pal, I'm sending money to my friend in
> Europe.
> I made sure that I said I was sending money to a friend, just like you said to.
> Well, to make a long story short he said to send you the money the account
> has to be activated first. So I gave him the money and your name and your
> information and he put it on hold in an account and told me that the person
> I'm sending the money to (Jennifer Peters) must send one dollar to that
> account and that will activate it and the money will be sent according to
> the information that you gave me, immediately. I think the thing about the
> ladies and the prospectors is just a bunch of bull. I think maybe he thought
> I was a terrorist or something, he kept looking up at my head until I said
> hey buddy, it's not a turban it's a bandage, OK? You'd think the guy had
> never seen a head injury before. So to get the money send one dollar or > whatever you use in Dutch money (no wooden shoes, please!) that equals a > dollar to:
>
> Matt O’Manurdum
> Carson City, NV
> USA
>
> (the NV stands for Nevada)
>
> And as sure as your name is Jennifer Peters, the 2050.00 will get sent to
> you by the western union in Carson City by computer.
>
> I tell you Jennifer I can't wait for when we close this deal and I'm on one
> of those scooters.
>
> Does the Fenderlight have a Hemi or a slant six? you didn't tell me in your
> last email.
>
> My address to send the scooters to is:
>
> Matt O’Manurdum
> 411 Brokenburro Ln.
> Rhyolite, NV
> 89003
> USA
>
> If you are ever in Rhyolite stop in and visit your (my) scooters!!!
>
> Thanks for the great Deal,
> Matt
>
>
>----Original Message Follows----
>Dear Matt,
>Thank you for your e-mail. I don't think of you as a bad person I understand
>you very well because I have to take care of my grandma and I understand you
>very well what you are saying. I am sorry that you had such a long trip and
>that you had troubles at western union. Please try to explain to me again
>what happened there. For me to check the transfer I will need the all the
>exact informations that you used (sender's and receiver's name and the
>MTCN). I hope that everything will work out. I will wait your e-mail as soon
>as possible.
>Best regards,
>Jennifer
>
>
>P.S. I almost forgot the engine is the fabled Hemi Tripower.
>
>
>
>
>Matt O wrote:
>Hi Jay-P,
>
>Look, you need to send one dollar through western union like this:
>
>sender: Jennifer Peters
>
>receiver: Matt O’Manurdum, Carson City, Nevada (NV)
>
>And this will tell western union you are o.k. and then they will release the
>money I gave them to you and you will find it in a search on the web site
>under this:
>
>Receiver's name: Jennifer Peters
>
>Sender's name: Matt O’Manurdum
>
>There is no MTCN number yet because nothing has been sent yet, they are
>holding the money waiting for you to send the dollar.
>
>It's up to you now, please send the dollar and I will be happy.
>
>Please Jennifer, I just want to be happy once in my life. I think I have scurvy.
>
>Thank You and have a nice day,
> Simon
>
>> ----Original Message Follows----
> Dear Matt,
> I send one dollar today and nothing came to me. Do you have everthing
> right with western union? Please email asap to close this deal.
> Best regards,
> Jennifer>
>
>
>Matt O wrote:
>
>
> THANKS FOR THE BUCK YOU STUPID FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pam Rocks!
, May-28-04, 06:21 AM, (4)
