But don't drive in London - The driving style is very aggressive. it's fantastic if you know exactly where you are going, but if you are trying to read directions or you get lost it's a nightmare. Direction signs are few and far between. Get a black cab instead. When you hail one remember they are only for hire if they have an orange light on the roof. if it's switched off they already have a fare. Don't go with minicabs (ordinary cars) unless you want to get ripped off. Proper london taxis only.

The tube is a nasty sewer, overpriced overcrowded and unreliable (but the new bit of the Jubilee line is quite nice - go to Canary Wharf station for superb tube architecture)

The buses are good, but of course pretty useless unless you are a local and know which bus routes you need. Bus stops in the centre of town (oxford street area etc) now have stupid machines where you need to buy a ticket before boarding. They never work. Instead, at any tube or train station buy a travelcard - zones 1 and 2 should cover most destinations worth visiting. This gets you a day's tube train bus and Docklands Light Railway (and possibly river travel) for about £5.

In London take a trip on a river boat from Canary Wharf pier upriver to Henley or Richmond or however far up they go. London is never so beautiful as seen from the River.

On a sunday morning you have a variety of markets to choose from. Camden is lively with interesting stuff but overpriced and very busy. There are also more drug dealers outside Camden station than anywhere else north of the river. Portabello Road (as seen in Notting Hill) is a nice market full of overpriced antiques that becomes a more earthy market full of old tat as you walk along. It's good for posing and there are a few great bars where you can relax with a couple of pints and a fat Havana. Then there's Brick lane. The market itself is full of utter crap, most of it nicked, but the vibe there is great, and you have the Scooter Emporium!
My favourite sunday market is Greenwich, which is a pretty place with interesting stuff, not too crowded and not too expensive.

i hafta agree about the driving in london. ONLY do it if you are brave. If you do decide to drive around there, forget the "defensive driving" thing you were probably taught when learning to drive.
be agressive and decisive. if not, you will be eaten alive by some crazy cabbie!

And avoid Leicester Square. Possibly the most overrated nasty "tourist attraction" in London - it's just a small crowded garden square surrounded by hawkers, beggars, buskers, those stupid c**ts who paint themselves silver and never move, other assorted street "entertainers" and thieves.

Tube Advice (but as I said, the tube is crap):
Always stand on the right on escalators so people in a hurry can walk down the left. Londoners do hit people who won't move over
Never talk.
Allow passengers off the train first. The correct amount of time to wait is about 1.5 seconds.
Except for pregnant or elderly women to whom you should offer your seat it's every man woman or child for him/herself if you want to sit down.
It is quicker to walk from Leicester Square to Covent Garden than get the tube (but why would you go to L.Sq anyway?)
If you are on the Central line and wish to transfer to the Circle or District at Bank/Monument station it is quicker to leave Bank, walk down King William Street and enter Monument from the street entrance than it is to go down the approved subterranian walkways.
If you wish to get on the Central line at Tottenham Court Road go down the escalators and then go through the arch marked "Exit Only", doing a sharp right to get to the platforms quickly and save about a mile of slow shuffling down the "proper" route.
You often get someone asking for your travelcard at station exits. Don't give or sell it to them, they are just another form of con artist.

General London advice.
Never tip bar staff (and in restaurants watch out for the trick where they leave a blank space on the credit card bill even though service is included). When service is included but the service was terrible you are legally entitled to deduct a percentage, but I've never tried doing it! When tipping waiting staff use cash as cash tips cannot legally be used to make up their minimum wage but credit card tips can, never give to buskers or beggars (of the 20 million given to london beggars 12 million goes straight into the pockets of drug dealers. A trick is also to see where you got the cash from and phone someone who will then pick your pocket), don't buy "the Big Issue" (well you can, but you'll want your pound back afterwards!). Watch out for homicidal cyclists. If you are crossing the road and they barrel through a red light into the pedestrians it is perfectly acceptable to punch them right off their fucking bikes.
If you want to go shopping in Oxford Street, trust me it is a *lot* less stressful on Sunday afternoon.
You can usually haggle prices at markets, and in the electrical shops up tottenham court road. Not at anywhere else really.
Don't buy the hotdogs of the Turkish street vendors. They are seriously unhygenic and not very tasty either.

Belgos in Covent Garden will serve you the most delicious rare fillet steak you ever had. and odd but often nice Belgian beers.

Talking of Beer, a few pints of proper English ale is something you have to try. Fuller's London Pride, Courage Directors Ale and Flowers are all superb beers. You can also buy good Czech pilsners in a lot of bars these days - Budvar, Urquell, Staropramen. For something stronger Gerry's in Old Compton Street, Soho will sell every spirit under the sun, including proper 70% by vol Absinthe.
If you fancy a coffee at 3 in the morning go to the Bar Italia

I have no idea where you can hire a scooter either. I suppose you could buy a P125 or ET4 for a couple of hundred pounds if you were desparate. I'd lend you my Velo but it's not on the road yet. Ask the Scooter Emporium if they hire or if they know someone who does.

Ian

Explore the countryside - the Lake district, the Yorkshire Dales. Shropshire is lovely (except for Telford). The Cotswold villages like are very twee chocolate box pretty if you like that kind of thing. Maybe go up to Scotland (Edinburgh is nice, Glasgow is nasty, the highlands are beautiful). Avoid Wales - nothing there but bad drivers and rain, and the East coast of England is dull dull dull all the way up.

Except it's the only city you'll still find the works of Charles R. MacIntosh.

Unjoy,
Das Twit

"Look, it's people like you
what cause unrest"

Super-P125
Douglas Sportique
Ser. III Tv175 (in pieces)
Serveta 175 (4Sale too)

Skip the train and fly to Scotland. EasyJet has some ridiculously low fares from London/Stansted; something lik 10 pounds each way, and it's only about an hour flight. A train from London to Edinburgh is something like 7 hours.

www.easyjet.com

Cheers!
Rob

we dont so much as have set "seasons" here. we have "weather".
it will probably rain though.

following on from the guy who said its a good idea to rent a car...... it is a very good idea.

DO NOT rely on public transport here. you will end up getting very miserable and frustrated with it. it is useless.

i would agree that the lake district is really good to go to, but have to add that cornwall and devon is great too, if a little chilly this time of year!

i live in the much mocked norfolk and we have the broads here which are basically lake kinda things combined with a river system. nice if you fancy hiring a boat and please cruising. although its kinda outta season now.

the FOOTBALL season is still on, right through to the summer. i dont have a clue how much the tickets are, but if youre gonna go to manchester or try to watch in london, expect to pay alot..

i worked in wales and its nice, but it does rain alot there.

id offer you a space to stay, but im on loaned space here myself..

Damon

im in norwich.

where near thetford?

Were you at either mildenhall or lakenheath?
i worked on the bases alot a few years ago. As far as i know, its the only place in england where you can buy a whopper meal with a £10 note and get $6 dollars change! hehe

I actually plan on going back next year to visit my in-laws, should be fun.

Damon

Where are you now?

Damon